What may be happening
Your partner may be using AI for comfort, fantasy, validation, loneliness, or avoidance. You may be feeling hurt because their emotional energy seems to be going somewhere you cannot participate in. Both can be true: the AI may feel meaningful to them, and its role may still be affecting trust or closeness between you.
What can help
Talk about the impact rather than arguing about whether the AI is real. You might say, "I feel lonely when you spend hours with the companion and do not talk to me," or "I need us to agree on what counts as secrecy." Discuss boundaries around time, sexual content, romantic language, privacy, and whether AI use is replacing hard conversations.
When to get support
Couples therapy can help if the conversation turns into blame, contempt, hiding, or repeated conflict. Individual therapy may help either partner understand loneliness, avoidance, attachment, or betrayal feelings. If the AI relationship is connected to unsafe instructions, threats, or loss of reality testing, seek real-world help quickly.