Why do I feel guilty for being happy after losing someone I loved?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Feeling guilty for experiencing happiness after losing someone you loved is a common and normal part of the grief process, though it can be deeply confusing and painful. This guilt often stems from several sources: the belief that being happy somehow dishonors your loved one's memory, survivor guilt about continuing to live and experience joy when they cannot, or feeling like happiness means you're 'moving on' or forgetting them. Many people worry that others will judge them for laughing, enjoying activities, or having good days too soon after a loss. There's often an unspoken expectation that grief should look a certain way or last a specific amount of time, but grief is highly individual and doesn't follow a linear timeline. The truth is that experiencing moments of happiness, laughter, or joy doesn't diminish your love for the person you lost or mean you're not grieving properly. In fact, many people find that their loved one would want them to experience happiness and continue living fully. Grief and joy can coexist - you can miss someone deeply while still finding moments of lightness or pleasure in life. This is often called 'continuing bonds' - maintaining connection with your loved one while also engaging with life. Some cultures and belief systems actually encourage celebration and joy as ways of honoring the deceased. The guilt you feel might also reflect the intensity of your love and the significance of your loss. Allow yourself to feel both grief and happiness without judgment. Consider what your loved one would want for you - most people who love us want us to find joy and meaning in life, even after they're gone. Grief counseling can help you navigate these complex emotions and develop healthy ways of honoring your loved one while also embracing life.