What if my partner wants me to drink or use substances with them?

Having a partner who wants you to drink or use substances with them puts you in an extremely difficult position that threatens both your recovery and your relationship. This situation requires immediate attention and clear Personal boundaries to protect your sobriety. Communicate clearly and firmly that you cannot and will not use substances, regardless of the circumstances. Explain that this isn't negotiable and that your recovery is essential for your health and wellbeing. Don't leave room for interpretation or future discussions about "just this once." Help your partner understand that substance addiction is a medical condition, not a choice or lack of willpower. Explain that for someone with addictive behaviors, there is no such thing as casual or controlled use—any substance use can trigger a return to active substance addiction. Evaluate whether your partner's request comes from lack of understanding about substance addiction or from their own issues with substances. Someone who truly understands addiction wouldn't ask you to compromise your recovery, so their request may indicate they need education or have their own substance use problems. Set clear consequences if your partner continues to pressure you to use substances. This might include leaving social situations where pressure occurs, spending less time together, or ultimately ending the relationship if the pressure continues. Consider whether this relationship is healthy for your recovery overall. A partner who pressures you to use substances is not supportive of your wellbeing and may be actively undermining your recovery efforts. Your sobriety must be your top priority. Seek support from your recovery network about this situation. Talk to your sponsor, therapist, or support group about what you're experiencing. They can provide perspective and help you develop strategies for handling this challenge. Suggest alternative activities that don't involve substances if your partner is used to drinking or using drugs as your primary shared activity. Propose new ways to spend time together that support your recovery and might even improve your relationship. Be prepared for your partner to react negatively to your Personal boundaries around substance use. They might become angry, manipulative, or threaten to end the relationship. Remember that these reactions often indicate their own issues with substances or control. Consider couples Psychotherapy with a counselor who understands addiction if your partner is willing to work on understanding and supporting your recovery. Professional help can sometimes bridge the gap between partners when addiction is involved. Remember that anyone who truly loves and cares about you would want to support your recovery, not undermine it. A partner who continues to pressure you to use substances after understanding your situation is not acting in your best interest. Be prepared to end the relationship if your partner cannot respect your recovery needs. While this is painful, staying in a relationship that threatens your sobriety can have devastating consequences for your health, wellbeing, and future.