What may be happening
The belief that you are broken can develop after abuse, neglect, bullying, or years of being told—directly or indirectly—that something is wrong with you. Mental health struggles like depression or anxiety can deepen the sense that you are malfunctioning compared to others. Language like "broken" and "need to be fixed" implies there is one correct way to be human and you failed to meet it. That frame ignores that everyone carries wounds, struggles, and areas still growing.
What can help
Reframe adaptations as understandable responses. Intense emotions, avoidance, people-pleasing, or shutdown often helped you survive circumstances that were too much at the time—even if those patterns now limit you. Practice self-compassion deliberately: speak to yourself as you would to a friend in pain. Notice the critical inner voice and ask whether its standards are humane or inherited from harsh environments. Work with a therapist to process experiences that shaped the broken narrative and build skills for living more authentically. Progress is not about becoming perfect; it is about relating to yourself differently. Connect with others who understand shame and self-worth struggles.
Hearing that your experience is shared can loosen the grip of "I am the only one who is this damaged."
When to get support
Consider professional help if self-hatred is persistent, drives isolation, or makes daily life feel unbearable. Seek urgent help if feeling broken combines with thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or hopelessness that you cannot stay safe. In the U. S. , call or text 988 or go to an emergency room.