When distance may be warranted
Consider limiting or ending contact if there is physical violence, credible threats, bringing dangerous people or substances into your home, or behavior that traumatizes children. It may also be necessary when repeated contact keeps you in cycles of rescuing, financial harm, or emotional collapse without any movement toward help.
Alternatives before full cutoff
Many families try stepped boundaries first: no money, no lies, no use in the home, or contact only when sober. Family therapy or support groups can clarify what you can live with. A time-limited break—months, not hours in anger—can create space to heal and decide what ongoing relationship is possible.
How to decide with support
Talk with a therapist, Al-Anon/Nar-Anon sponsor, or domestic violence advocate if safety is involved.
If you communicate the boundary, keep it simple: you love them and cannot participate in harm.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) offers confidential support in the U. S.