How do I know if I'm being too demanding in my relationship?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

The line between having legitimate needs and being too demanding can be confusing, especially if you've been told you're 'too much' in past relationships. Healthy relationship needs are reasonable, clearly communicated, and open to negotiation. These might include wanting quality time together, emotional support during difficult periods, honesty and transparency, and respect for your boundaries. You're likely being too demanding if you expect your partner to be available 24/7, meet all your emotional needs, never disagree with you, or change fundamental aspects of who they are. Demanding behavior often comes from anxiety, past trauma, or unrealistic expectations about what relationships can provide. Signs you might be too demanding include: your partner frequently seems overwhelmed or resentful, you find yourself making ultimatums regularly, you can't tolerate any disappointment or 'no' from your partner, or you expect them to prioritize your needs above their own consistently. The key is developing emotional self-sufficiency while still being able to ask for what you need. Work on meeting some of your own emotional needs through friendships, hobbies, therapy, or self-care practices. When you do make requests of your partner, frame them as preferences rather than demands, and be willing to compromise. Pay attention to their capacity and stress levels - sometimes timing matters as much as the request itself.