How do I handle anniversaries and holidays after losing someone?

Anniversaries, holidays, and other significant dates can feel like emotional landmines when you're grieving. The anticipation of these days is often worse than the days themselves, as your mind builds up dread about how painful they'll be. These dates serve as stark reminders of absence—the empty chair at Thanksgiving, the birthday that will never be celebrated again, the anniversary of the day everything changed. It's important to plan ahead for these difficult days rather than hoping you'll just get through them. This might mean deciding whether you want to maintain old traditions, create new ones, or do something completely different. Some people find comfort in rituals that honor their loved one's memory—visiting their grave, looking through photos, or doing something the person enjoyed. Others prefer to break from tradition entirely and create new experiences that don't carry the weight of comparison. There's no right way to handle these days, and what works one year might not work the next. It's okay to adapting to change your mind, to leave early if you need to, or to ask for support from friends and family. Some years these dates will hit harder than others, and that's normal. The goal isn't to eliminate the pain but to find ways to move through it with compassion for yourself and connection to the love that remains.