How do I deal with people who don't understand addiction?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Dealing with people who don't understand addiction can be frustrating and hurtful, especially when these are people you care about or need to interact with regularly. Remember that their lack of understanding often comes from ignorance rather than malice, though this doesn't make their comments less painful.

Decide who is worth educating and who isn't. For people who are important in your life and seem genuinely interested in understanding, you might choose to share information about addiction as a disease, explain how it affects the brain, or recommend books or articles they could read. For others, it might not be worth your energy.

Prepare simple responses for common misconceptions. When someone says "Why can't you just have one drink?" you might respond, "Addiction doesn't work that way. For me, one drink leads to many drinks." When they say "You just need more willpower," you might say, "Addiction is a medical condition that requires treatment, not just willpower."

Set boundaries around what you're willing to discuss. You don't owe anyone a detailed explanation of your addiction or recovery. You can say, "I appreciate your concern, but I'd prefer not to discuss the details of my recovery" or "This is something I'm working on with my doctor and therapist."

Don't take their lack of understanding personally. Many people have never experienced addiction themselves or in their families, so they truly don't understand how it works. Their comments often reflect their own fears or misconceptions rather than judgments about you specifically.

Focus on the people who do support your recovery. Surround yourself with people who understand addiction or who are willing to learn and support you without judgment. These relationships will be much more nourishing for your recovery.

Remember that you don't need everyone's approval or understanding to maintain your sobriety. Your recovery is about your health and wellbeing, not about convincing others that addiction is real or that recovery is necessary.