How do I deal with feeling like everyone else is more confident than me?
Identity & Self-Worth
Confidence appears different externally than it feels internally; many confident-seeming people struggle with self-doubt privately.
Feeling like everyone else is more confident than you is a common experience that often stems from comparing your internal experience - complete with self-doubt, Anxiety disorder, and uncertainty - to others' external presentations. self-confidence is largely an internal experience that doesn't always match what people show on the outside. Many people who appear confident are actually struggling with insecurity, imposter syndrome, or Anxiety disorder, but they've learned to project building confidence as a social skill or protective mechanism. You're intimately familiar with your own doubts and fears while you only see others' composed exteriors, creating an unfair comparison that makes everyone else seem more self-assured. Social media intensifies this illusion by showing you everyone's most confident moments while hiding their vulnerable, uncertain, or anxious experiences. People rarely post about their self-doubt or moments of feeling inadequate, so you're constantly exposed to curated versions of confidence building that don't reflect the full human experience. Sometimes what looks like self-confidence is actually different personality traits - some people are naturally more outgoing, assertive, or comfortable with attention, which can be mistaken for confidence even when they're feeling uncertain inside. True confidence is often quieter and less performative than what we typically associate with the trait. It's also important to recognize that confidence isn't a fixed trait that some people have and others don't - it's a skill that can be developed and something that fluctuates based on circumstances, experience, and mental health. You might feel confident in some areas of your life while feeling insecure in others, which is completely normal. Building genuine confidence often involves accepting your imperfections, developing competence through practice, and learning to tolerate uncertainty and discomfort. Focus on your own growth rather than comparing yourself to others' apparent confidence levels. Practice self-compassion when you feel insecure, and remember that vulnerability and uncertainty are normal parts of the human experience that everyone deals with, regardless of how confident they appear on the surface.