Better communication during arguments starts with using 'I' statements instead of 'you' accusations. Say 'I feel hurt when...' rather than 'You always...' Listen to understand, not just to respond. Stay focused on the specific issue at hand rather than bringing up past grievances. Take breaks if emotions get too intense - agree to revisit the conversation when you're both calmer. Avoid name-calling, threats, or bringing up sensitive topics as weapons. The goal should be understanding and resolution, not winning.
Remember that you're on the same team working against the problem, not against each other.