Why does grief feel like it's never going to end?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

In the depths of grief, it can feel like the pain will never lessen, that you'll be trapped in this overwhelming sadness forever. This feeling is particularly intense in the early stages of loss when grief feels all-consuming and you can't imagine a time when it won't dominate every moment of your day. The idea that you'll 'get over it' or 'move on' can feel both impossible and offensive—how could you ever stop missing someone so important?  The truth is that grief doesn't end, but it does transform. The acute, overwhelming pain that makes it hard to breathe or function does gradually lessen for most people. What remains is a different kind of grief—one that can coexist with joy, love, and meaning. You don't stop missing the person, but the missing becomes more like a tender spot than an open wound.  This transformation happens slowly and unevenly. You might have weeks where you feel like you're healing, followed by days where the grief feels as fresh as ever. This isn't a sign that you're not progressing—it's the natural rhythm of grief. Over time, the waves of intense sadness become less frequent and less overwhelming, though they may never disappear entirely. Learning to carry grief rather than be crushed by it is one of the most profound adaptations humans are capable of making.