Why do my partner and I have the same fight over and over?
Relationships & Communication
Recurring fights often point to deeper, unresolved issues or unmet needs beneath the surface-level conflict.
Having the same fight repeatedly is a sign that you're not addressing the real issue. The surface-level conflict - about dishes, money, or being late - is usually a stand-in for a deeper emotional need that isn't being met. You might be fighting about feeling disrespected, unheard, unloved, or abandoned. To break the cycle, try to look beneath the surface of the argument. What are you really feeling? What do you need from your partner that you're not getting? Couples counseling can be very effective in helping you identify and address these underlying patterns.