Why do I push people away when they get too close to me?

Pushing people away when they get close is typically a protective mechanism that developed to keep you safe from emotional pain. This pattern often stems from past experiences where vulnerability led to hurt, rejection, or betrayal. Your unconscious mind learned that closeness equals danger, so it creates distance to protect you from potential pain. This might manifest as picking fights when things are going well, becoming critical or nitpicky, withdrawing emotionally, or sabotaging Interpersonal relationship just as they're deepening. Sometimes this behavior comes from a deep-seated belief that you're not worthy of love, so you push people away before they can discover your 'flaws' and leave on their own. fear responses of engulfment - losing yourself in the relationship - can also trigger this response, especially if you grew up with enmeshed family dynamics. The cruel irony is that pushing people away often creates the very abandonment you're trying to avoid. Breaking this pattern requires developing awareness of when you're doing it and why. Notice what triggers the urge to create distance - is it after moments of particular intimacy or vulnerability? Practice staying present with the discomfort of closeness rather than automatically creating space. Communicate your fears to trusted people rather than acting them out through withdrawal. This pattern often requires professional help to fully understand and life changes, especially if it stems from early Psychological trauma or Attachment theory disruptions.