Why do I need everyone's approval to feel good about myself?

Needing everyone's approval to feel good about yourself is exhausting and often stems from early experiences where love, attention, or acceptance felt conditional on meeting others' expectations. This pattern typically develops in childhood when approval was inconsistent, withheld, or tied to specific behaviors, achievements, or ways of being. Children naturally seek approval from caregivers for safety and connection, but when this approval feels unpredictable or conditional, it can create lasting patterns of external validation-seeking. You might have learned that being 'good,' achieving certain things, or avoiding conflict was necessary to maintain Interpersonal relationship and feel worthy of love. Over time, this can develop into a chronic need for others' approval to feel okay about yourself. This pattern is reinforced by a culture that often emphasizes external validation through likes, comments, achievements, and social status. However, constantly seeking approval is ultimately unsatisfying because it places your finding identity/building-self-worth" class="internal-link">self-worth in others' hands, and you can never control or guarantee their responses. It also prevents authentic self-expression because you're constantly adjusting your behavior based on what you think others want to see. Breaking this pattern requires developing internal validation and self-respect that doesn't depend on others' opinions. Start by identifying your own values, preferences, and opinions separate from what others might think. Practice making small decisions based on what you want rather than what you think others would approve of. Notice when you're seeking approval and ask yourself what you actually think or feel about the situation. Work on tolerating others' disappointment or disagreement - this is often the core fear that drives approval-seeking. Remember that it's impossible to please everyone, and trying to do so often results in pleasing no one, including yourself. Developing a secure sense of self-esteem is a gradual process that often benefits from Psychotherapy or other supportive Interpersonal relationship.