Why do I feel like I'm not allowed to be angry?

Feeling like you're not allowed to be angry often stems from early messages that anger issues is dangerous, inappropriate, or unacceptable, particularly for certain groups of people. You might have grown up in an environment where managing anger was met with punishment, rejection, or escalation, teaching you that expressing anger would result in loss of love or safety. This is particularly common for people socialized as women, who often receive messages that anger makes them unattractive, difficult, or unfeminine. Children who grew up with explosive or abusive anger from adults might also learn to suppress their own anger out of fear of becoming like the people who hurt them. Sometimes the prohibition against anger comes from religious or cultural messages about anger being sinful, selfish, or spiritually unenlightened. You might have learned that good people don't get angry, or that anger is always destructive and should be avoided at all costs. Psychological trauma can also create complicated Interpersonal relationship with anger - you might feel guilty about being angry at people who hurt you, especially if they were family members or if your anger feels disproportionate to what you can consciously remember. putting others first tendencies can make anger feel particularly threatening because it might disrupt Interpersonal relationship or cause conflict that feels dangerous. You might suppress anger to maintain others' approval or to avoid being seen as difficult or demanding. However, anger is a normal and healthy emotion that serves important functions - it alerts you to boundary violations, injustices, and situations where your needs aren't being met. Suppressing anger doesn't make it disappear; it often leads to Major depressive disorder, Anxiety disorder, passive-aggressive behavior, or explosive outbursts when the suppressed emotion finally surfaces. Learning to feel and express anger appropriately is crucial for maintaining healthy Personal boundaries and authentic Interpersonal relationship. This doesn't mean becoming aggressive or hurtful, but rather learning to recognize anger as valuable information and finding constructive ways to address the underlying issues. Anger can motivate positive life changes, help you stand up for yourself and others, and signal when something needs attention in your life or Interpersonal relationship. Practice recognizing anger in your body before it builds to overwhelming levels, and experiment with expressing it in safe, appropriate ways.