Why do I always end up with partners who are emotionally unavailable?

Repeatedly choosing emotionally unavailable partners is rarely a coincidence - it usually reflects deeper patterns in how you understand love, Interpersonal relationship, and your own worth. If you grew up with emotionally distant caregivers, unavailable partners might feel familiar and 'normal' to you, even though they're ultimately unsatisfying. Sometimes we're drawn to unavailable people because they feel safe - there's less risk of true intimacy and vulnerability, which can feel threatening if you've been hurt before. The chase and uncertainty can also create an addictive cycle where intermittent reinforcement (occasional attention from an unavailable person) feels more exciting than consistent love from someone who's actually present. On a deeper level, you might unconsciously believe that you don't deserve consistent love and care, so you choose partners who confirm this belief. Emotionally unavailable people also can't challenge you to grow or be vulnerable, which feels safer but ultimately keeps you stuck. Breaking this pattern requires honest self-reflection about what you're really looking for in Interpersonal relationship and what you might be avoiding. Start paying attention to green flags - consistency, emotional presence, the ability to have difficult conversations - rather than just red flags. Work on your own emotional availability and capacity for intimacy. Often, as you become more secure and available yourself, you'll naturally be less attracted to people who can't meet you at that level.