What should I do if my sponsor relapses?

Discovering that your sponsor has relapsed can be emotionally devastating and confusing, especially if you've been relying on them for guidance and support. This situation, while difficult, doesn't have to derail your own healing process if you handle it thoughtfully. First, remember that your sponsor's relapse doesn't reflect on your recovery support or mean that the guidance they gave you was invalid. People in recovery are human and fallible, and relapse can happen to anyone regardless of their length of sobriety or experience in recovery support. Consider whether your sponsor is actively seeking help for their relapse. If they're being honest about their situation and taking steps to get back into recovery, you might choose to maintain the relationship while they work on getting back on track. However, if they're in denial or not actively addressing their relapse, it's probably best to find a new sponsor. Don't try to sponsor your sponsor or take responsibility for their recovery. Your job is to focus on your own sobriety, not to fix or rescue someone else. While you can offer support as a friend, you shouldn't continue to seek recovery guidance from someone who is actively using. Look for a new sponsor if your current sponsor isn't actively working on their recovery. This doesn't mean you're abandoning them or being disloyal—it means you're taking responsibility for your own recovery needs. You can maintain a friendship while seeking guidance elsewhere. Use this experience as a learning opportunity about the importance of having multiple sources of support in your recovery. Relying too heavily on any one person, even a sponsor, can leave you vulnerable if that person struggles with their own recovery. Consider how this experience affects your own recovery. Are you feeling triggered or questioning the effectiveness of the program? Discuss these feelings with other people in recovery, a therapist, or a new sponsor who can help you process this experience. Remember that sponsorship is about sharing experience, strength, and hope—not about being perfect. Your sponsor's relapse doesn't invalidate the help they provided when they were sober, but it does mean you need to seek guidance elsewhere while they focus on their own recovery.