What should I do if my adult child is addicted to drugs?
Family & Parenting
Watching your adult child struggle with addiction is heartbreaking and can leave you feeling helpless, angry, and confused about how to help.
Watching your adult child struggle with addictive behaviors is heartbreaking and can leave you feeling helpless, angry, and confused about how to help. While your instinct is to protect and fix the situation, supporting an adult child with addictive behaviors requires a delicate balance of love and tough Personal boundaries.
Recognize that your adult child's substance addiction is not your fault, and you cannot control or cure it. addiction recovery is a complex disease influenced by genetics, environment, mental health, and many other factors. Blaming yourself or trying to control their recovery will only cause you more pain and may actually hinder their progress.
Stop enabling behaviors immediately, even though this feels counterintuitive to your parental instincts. Enabling includes giving money, paying bills, providing housing without conditions, making excuses for their behavior, or bailing them out of legal or financial consequences. These actions, while well-intentioned, often allow the addiction to continue.
Set clear Personal boundaries about what you will and won't do to help. You might offer to pay for treatment directly, provide emotional support, or help them research resources, but refuse to give cash or cover consequences of their addiction. Communicate these Personal boundaries clearly and stick to them consistently.
Learn about addiction and available treatment options so you can provide informed support when your child is ready to seek help. Research local treatment centers, support groups, and other resources so you're prepared to act quickly if they express interest in getting help.
Take care of your own emotional and physical health. Consider joining a support group like Families Anonymous or Nar-Anon, where you can connect with other parents facing similar challenges. Individual Psychotherapy can also help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.
Maintain hope while accepting reality. Recovery is possible, but it has to be your child's choice. Some people need to experience significant consequences before they're motivated to change, and protecting them from these consequences may actually delay their recovery.
Consider staging an intervention with professional guidance if your child's life is in immediate danger, but understand that interventions don't guarantee success and should be carefully planned with addiction professionals.
Remember that you can love your child while refusing to support their addiction. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to step back and allow them to face the consequences of their choices.