Should I give my addicted family member money for basic needs?

This is one of the most difficult decisions families face when dealing with a loved one's addictive behaviors. While your instinct is to help with basic needs like food, rent, or utilities, giving money—even for legitimate expenses—often enables the addictive behaviors to continue and can actually harm your loved one's chances of recovery. Understand that money is fungible, meaning that even if you give money specifically for rent or food, it frees up other money they have to buy substances. Additionally, when you pay their bills, you're removing natural consequences that might motivate them to seek treatment. Consider alternative ways to help with basic needs that don't involve giving cash. You might pay bills directly to landlords or utility companies, buy groceries yourself, or provide gift cards to specific stores. This ensures your help goes toward actual needs rather than substances. Recognize that your loved one may face serious consequences like eviction, hunger, or loss of utilities if you don't help financially. While this is painful to watch, these consequences are often what motivate people to seek treatment. Protecting them from these consequences may actually delay their recovery. Set clear Personal boundaries about financial help and communicate them clearly. You might decide to help with treatment costs, provide food directly, or offer a place to stay with conditions, but refuse to give cash or pay bills while they're actively using substances. Understand that your loved one may become angry, manipulative, or try to make you feel guilty when you refuse financial help. They might threaten to become homeless, hurt themselves, or cut off contact. Remember that these are often manipulation tactics driven by the desperation of addiction. Consider offering to help in other ways that support recovery rather than addiction. You might offer to research treatment options, drive them to appointments, provide emotional support, or help them apply for assistance programs, but only if they're actively seeking help. Consult with addiction professionals or attend family support groups to get guidance on your specific situation. Sometimes there are safety considerations or other factors that might influence your decision about financial help. Remember that saying no to financial requests is not abandoning your loved one—it's refusing to participate in their addiction. True help involves supporting their recovery, not making it easier for them to continue using substances. If you do decide to provide financial help, set clear conditions and time limits. For example, you might pay for treatment or provide temporary housing with the condition that they attend counseling or support groups.