How do I talk to my teenager about substance use?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Talking to your teenager about substance use is crucial for prevention and early intervention, but it requires a thoughtful approach that builds trust rather than creating defensiveness. The goal is to create an open dialogue where your teen feels safe being honest with you.

Start conversations early and make them ongoing rather than having one big "drug talk." Begin with age-appropriate discussions about making healthy choices and gradually introduce more specific information about substances as your teen gets older. Regular, brief conversations are more effective than infrequent, lengthy lectures.

Choose the right time and setting for these conversations. Avoid talking when either of you is stressed, angry, or distracted. Car rides, walks, or other activities where you're side-by-side rather than face-to-face can feel less confrontational and more natural for teens.

Listen more than you talk. Ask open-ended questions about what they know about drugs and alcohol, what they've heard from friends, or what they've seen in media. Understanding their perspective helps you address their specific concerns and misconceptions.

Be honest about your own experiences without glorifying substance use. If you used substances as a teen, you can acknowledge this while emphasizing what you learned and why you want different choices for them. Focus on the risks and consequences rather than exciting stories.

Provide factual, age-appropriate information about the risks of substance use, including how it affects the developing teenage brain, the potential for addiction, legal consequences, and impact on school and relationships. Avoid scare tactics, which can backfire and reduce your credibility.

Discuss peer pressure and help your teen practice saying no in different situations. Role-play scenarios they might encounter and help them develop confident responses. Emphasize that real friends will respect their decisions.

Set clear expectations and consequences regarding substance use. Make sure your teen understands your family's rules about alcohol and drugs, and follow through consistently if rules are broken. Consequences should be logical and related to the behavior.

Create a family environment that reduces risk factors for substance use. This includes maintaining strong family relationships, monitoring your teen's activities and friendships, and encouraging involvement in positive activities like sports, arts, or volunteer work.

Be available and approachable when your teen wants to talk, even if it's not convenient for you. Teens often want to talk at unexpected times, and being available in these moments builds trust and keeps communication open.