How do I rebuild trust with people I hurt during my addiction?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Rebuilding trust after addiction is a gradual process that requires patience, consistency, and acceptance that some relationships may take longer to heal than others. Trust is earned through actions over time, not through apologies alone.

Start by taking full responsibility for your actions without making excuses or blaming your addiction. While addiction is a disease, you're still accountable for the harm you caused. A sincere apology acknowledges the specific ways you hurt someone and expresses genuine remorse without expecting immediate forgiveness.

Focus on changing your behavior consistently rather than trying to convince people with words. Show up when you say you will, follow through on commitments, and be honest about your recovery process. Small, consistent actions build trust more effectively than grand gestures.

Be patient with others' healing process. The people you hurt may need time to see that your changes are genuine and lasting. They might test your commitment or remain guarded for a while. This is a natural protective response, not a personal attack on your recovery.

Consider making amends as part of your recovery process, but do this thoughtfully and often with guidance from a sponsor or therapist. Sometimes making amends means giving someone space rather than forcing contact.

Accept that some relationships may not be repairable, and that's okay. Focus your energy on the relationships where people are willing to work toward healing. Some of your strongest relationships may actually become deeper through this process of honest communication and rebuilding.

Remember that rebuilding trust is a marathon, not a sprint. Celebrate small progress and stay committed to your recovery regardless of others' responses.