How do I make friends as an adult when it feels impossible?
Loneliness & Isolation
Adult friendships require more intentional effort than childhood friendships; focus on shared activities and be patient with the slow process of building trust.
Making friends as an adult can feel incredibly difficult compared to the seemingly effortless friendships of childhood. As children, friendships often formed naturally through proximity—you were thrown together in classrooms, neighborhoods, or activities and had plenty of unstructured time to bond. As an adult, you have to be much more intentional about creating opportunities for connection while juggling work, family responsibilities, and other commitments. Adult friendships also require different skills than childhood friendships. You're dealing with people who have established lives, existing friend groups, and less free time. Everyone has their own baggage, Personal boundaries, and interpersonal relationships/improving-communication" class="internal-link">communication skills" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Communication styles that have been shaped by years of experience. The stakes can feel higher because rejection or social awkwardness feels more significant when you're not surrounded by built-in social opportunities. Start by focusing on activities or environments where you'll naturally encounter like-minded people—classes, volunteer work, hobby groups, or regular activities like walking groups or book clubs. The key is consistency and patience. Adult friendships often develop slowly, moving from acquaintances to casual friends to deeper connections over months or years. Don't put pressure on every interaction to lead to a best friendship. Focus on being genuinely interested in others, showing up consistently, and being open to different types of connections.