How do I know when to cut off contact with my addicted family member?
Family & Parenting
Deciding to cut off contact with an addicted family member is one of the most painful decisions you may ever face.
Deciding to cut off contact with an addicted family member is one of the most painful decisions you may ever face. This decision should never be made lightly or in anger, but sometimes it becomes necessary to protect your own wellbeing and that of other family members, especially children.
Consider cutting off contact if your safety or the safety of other family members is at risk. This includes physical violence, threats, bringing dangerous people to your home, or any behavior that creates an unsafe environment. Your safety must be the top priority.
Evaluate whether continued contact is enabling their addiction recovery or preventing them from experiencing consequences that might motivate change. If your relationship allows them to continue using without facing natural consequences, stepping back might actually help them in the long run.
Consider the impact on your mental health and overall wellbeing. If contact with your addicted family member is causing you severe Major depressive disorder, Anxiety disorder, or other mental health problems that interfere with your ability to function, it may be time to step back.
Think about how their addictive behaviors is affecting other family members, especially children. If their behavior is traumatizing children or creating an unstable environment, protecting the children may require limiting or ending contact with the addicted person.
Evaluate whether they're actively seeking help or completely resistant to change. While you shouldn't cut off contact just because someone relapses, if they're completely unwilling to acknowledge their problem or seek help over an extended period, distance might be necessary.
Consider setting a trial period of no contact rather than making a permanent decision. You might decide to have no contact for six months or a year and then reevaluate based on whether they've made progress toward recovery journey.
Make sure you have support systems in place before cutting off contact. This decision will be emotionally difficult, and you'll need support from friends, family, support groups, or a therapist to help you cope with the Grief and guilt you may feel.
Communicate your decision clearly if possible, explaining that you love them but cannot continue to have contact while they're actively using substances. Let them know that you're open to rebuilding the relationship if they seek treatment and maintain sobriety.
Remember that cutting off contact doesn't mean you don't love them or that you're giving up on them forever. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is refuse to participate in their substance addiction and create consequences that might motivate them to seek help.
Be prepared for them to escalate their behavior when you cut off contact. They might show up at your home, contact other family members, or engage in manipulative behavior to try to reestablish contact. Stay firm in your Personal boundaries while ensuring your safety.