How do I handle social events and gatherings in recovery?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Navigating social events and gatherings in recovery can be challenging, especially in early sobriety when your confidence and coping skills are still developing. With planning and practice, you can learn to enjoy social situations while maintaining your recovery.

Plan ahead for social events by thinking through potential challenges and developing strategies for handling them. Consider who will be there, whether substances will be present, how long you want to stay, and what you'll do if you feel triggered or uncomfortable.

Have your own transportation to events so you can leave whenever you need to. This gives you control over your environment and removes the pressure to stay longer than feels comfortable. Don't rely on others for rides if it means you'll be stuck in an uncomfortable situation.

Bring your own non-alcoholic drinks or ask the host ahead of time what will be available. Having something in your hand reduces offers of alcohol and helps you feel more comfortable in social situations. Many people find that sparkling water with lime or other mocktails help them feel included.

Prepare responses for when people offer you drinks or ask why you're not drinking. Simple responses like "I'm driving," "I'm not drinking tonight," or "I'm good with what I have" usually work well. You don't owe anyone a detailed explanation about your recovery.

Consider bringing a supportive friend who knows about your recovery and can provide encouragement and accountability during the event. Having an ally at social gatherings can make them much more manageable and enjoyable.

Focus on the aspects of social events that don't involve substances—the food, conversations, activities, or entertainment. Many people discover that they actually enjoy social events more in recovery because they're fully present and engaged.

Set time limits for how long you'll stay at events, especially in early recovery. You might decide to attend for an hour or two rather than staying for the entire event. This allows you to participate socially while protecting your recovery.

Have a plan for what you'll do if you start feeling triggered, uncomfortable, or tempted to use substances. This might include calling someone from your support network, stepping outside for fresh air, or leaving the event entirely.

Practice self-care before and after social events. This might include attending a support group meeting before the event, meditating, or debriefing with someone afterward about how it went and what you learned.

Remember that it's okay to decline invitations to events that feel too risky for your recovery. Your sobriety is more important than any social obligation, and true friends will understand and respect your decision to prioritize your health.

Consider hosting your own sober social events where you have control over the environment and can create fun, substance-free gatherings. This allows you to maintain social connections while supporting your recovery and possibly helping others who are also avoiding substances.