How do I express anger in healthy ways without bottling it up?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Healthy anger expression starts with recognizing that anger itself isn't the problem - it's a normal emotion that signals when your boundaries, values, or needs aren't being respected. The key is learning to use anger as information rather than letting it control your actions. First, acknowledge the anger without judgment. Notice where you feel it in your body and what thoughts accompany it. Then, dig deeper to identify what's underneath - are you feeling disrespected, unheard, overwhelmed, or hurt? Once you understand your underlying need, you can communicate it more effectively. Use assertive communication that's direct but not aggressive. State your observation, feeling, need, and request clearly: 'When you interrupt me during meetings, I feel disrespected. I need to be able to finish my thoughts. Could you please let me complete my points before responding?' Physical outlets can also help process anger energy - exercise, journaling, or even screaming into a pillow can release the physical tension. Some people find it helpful to write an angry letter they never send, allowing them to fully express their feelings before crafting a more measured response. Remember that healthy anger expression isn't about making the other person feel bad or getting revenge - it's about honoring your own needs and maintaining your integrity while preserving relationships when possible.