How do I deal with someone who won't stop interrupting me?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Being constantly interrupted can be frustrating and disrespectful, making you feel unheard and undervalued in conversations. Whether this happens with family members, colleagues, friends, or romantic partners, learning to address interrupting behavior assertively can help you reclaim your voice and improve your relationships.

Understand that people interrupt for various reasons, including excitement about the topic, anxiety about forgetting their thoughts, cultural differences in conversation styles, lack of awareness about their behavior, or attempts to dominate conversations. Understanding the motivation can help you choose the most effective response.

Address the interrupting behavior directly and calmly rather than hoping it will stop on its own. You might say something like "I'd like to finish my thought" or "Please let me complete what I was saying" in a firm but non-aggressive tone.

Use the "pause and redirect" technique by stopping mid-sentence when interrupted, waiting for the interrupter to finish, then saying something like "As I was saying..." before continuing with your original point. This draws attention to the interruption without being confrontational.

Set clear expectations at the beginning of important conversations by saying something like "I have something important to share, and I'd appreciate it if you could let me finish before responding." This proactive approach can prevent interruptions before they start.

Practice assertive body language by maintaining eye contact, using a calm but firm tone of voice, and continuing to speak when someone tries to interrupt you. Sometimes people interrupt because they sense uncertainty or hesitation in your communication style.

Address chronic interrupting in private rather than calling someone out in front of others, which can create embarrassment and defensiveness. Have a calm conversation about how the interrupting affects you and ask for their cooperation in changing the pattern.

Use the "broken record" technique for persistent interrupters by calmly repeating your request to finish speaking each time you're interrupted. Consistency in your response helps establish that you won't tolerate being cut off repeatedly.

Consider whether the interrupting is part of a larger pattern of disrespectful behavior or if it's an isolated communication issue. Chronic interrupting combined with other dismissive behaviors may indicate deeper relationship problems that need to be addressed.

Practice speaking with more confidence and authority if you tend to speak tentatively or trail off at the end of sentences. People are more likely to interrupt when they sense uncertainty or when statements sound like questions.

Set boundaries about when and how you're willing to engage in conversations with chronic interrupters. You might say "I'm not comfortable continuing this conversation if I can't finish my thoughts" and be prepared to end the interaction if necessary.

Use humor when appropriate to address interrupting without creating conflict. A light comment like "Whoa, let me catch up with you" can sometimes redirect the conversation without making the other person defensive.

Document patterns of interrupting in professional settings where this behavior might be affecting your work performance or career advancement. Persistent interrupting in meetings or presentations may need to be addressed through HR or management channels.

Practice active listening yourself to model the behavior you want to see from others. When you demonstrate respectful listening, it often encourages others to reciprocate, though this doesn't always work with chronic interrupters.

Consider whether cultural or generational differences might be contributing to the interrupting behavior. Some cultures have more overlapping conversation styles, and what feels like interrupting to you might feel like engaged participation to them.

Seek support from others if interrupting is happening in group settings. Allies who can help redirect conversations or support your right to speak can be valuable in addressing this behavior, especially in professional environments.

Remember that you have the right to be heard and to complete your thoughts without constant interruption. Don't minimize the impact of this behavior on your wellbeing or accept it as something you just have to tolerate in relationships.