How do I deal with feeling like I'm not living up to my parents' expectations?
Communication & Conflict
Parent expectation pressure often stems from their unfulfilled dreams; focus on living authentically according to your own values and goals.
Feeling like you're not living up to your parents' expectations is a common source of guilt management and Anxiety disorder that can persist well into Adult. This pressure often stems from parents projecting their own unfulfilled dreams, fears, or values onto their children, sometimes without realizing the emotional burden this creates. Your parents might have specific ideas about what success looks like based on their own experiences, cultural background, or the sacrifices they made for your opportunities. They might expect you to pursue certain careers, achieve particular milestones, or live according to values that don't align with your authentic self. Sometimes parental expectations are explicitly stated through direct pressure or criticism, while other times they're communicated through subtle disappointment, comparisons to others, or conditional approval that only comes when you meet their standards. The guilt management can be particularly intense if your parents made significant sacrifices for your education or opportunities, making you feel obligated to fulfill their vision of success even if it doesn't match your own desires. Cultural factors can intensify this pressure, especially in families where honoring parents and family reputation are highly valued. You might feel torn between respecting your parents and living authentically, especially if your choices disappoint or worry them. It's important to recognize that while your parents likely want the best for you, their definition of 'best' is filtered through their own experiences and limitations. They might not understand your generation's challenges, opportunities, or values, leading to expectations that feel outdated or unrealistic. Your life is ultimately yours to live, and you're the one who has to deal with the consequences of your choices. While it's natural to want your parents' approval and support, basing major life decisions solely on their expectations can lead to resentment, Major depressive disorder, and a sense of living someone else's life. Consider having honest conversations with your parents about your own goals and values, while also setting Personal boundaries around their input in your decisions. Remember that disappointing your parents doesn't make you a bad person, and that healthy parent-child Interpersonal relationship involve mutual respect for each other's autonomy and choices.